we're growing...

Hello guys, I hope you been enjoying your Summer.  I have been drafting this post in my mind for over a month and a half now.  How to tell you the news?  Big news, baby news... I'm pregnant!  There I said it!!  What pregnant??  Yes it's crazy ah??  that was not on my bucket list at all!! We are still digesting the news specially Javier.  It's really been a roller coaster of emotions lately...really so many things going on in our lives and this so very unexpected news!

You see I don't want to make this a long story, I've only talked about this a little bit on my blog (by the way I am bummed because I don't know why my pics are gone on that entry back in 2010)

I spent a great number of years trying to get pregnant.  I took meds to ovulate and conceived Sophia at the age of 30 then had two miscarriages.  After that came Xavi at 35 yrs of age.  My husband did the vasectomy when Xavi was about six months old then six months later he reversed it thinking we had made a mistake and wanted more kids.  That is when the real stress began test, doctors, medicines, timing  we had two failed artificial inseminations and one failed IVF.  My husband had a low to null sperm count I had 19 eggs retrieved they extracted his sperms only 4 alive and only one egg fertilized, it didn't stick.

I felt totally devastated, sad, angry at God.  That was our final attempt we knew we could not go through the emotional and financial stress again.  It really was not fun making a baby the non traditional way, Javier really hated it when I handed him the cup for a sample... plus my age was not helping at all I was 38 at the time.  I won't lie after the big disappointment I secretly prayed that one little guy escaped and that I got pregnant by a miracle after all that's all it takes right? only one!

But things changed and not long ago I remember we talked about maybe it was a good thing we didn't have any more kids.  Our three kids are growing up now.  Valeria is 18 just graduated High School got her first job and is off to community college so eager to go into the world, Sophia soon to be a teen thinks she knows everything and is at a weird stage and my sweet Xavi that is soon to be 8 not really a baby anymore.

For a few years now I have been on this medicine for a prolactinoma situation hard to explain but it's something to regulate my hormones. Ever since that medicine my periods have been pretty regular. Early in July I let my period be ten days late before I had the guts to go take a pregnancy test.  This was the first time in about four years that I've been late. I was thinking oh boy maybe this is menopause :(  because of the hot flashes.  

I remember being so nervous waiting for the results and telling the nurse my whole story and how I was sure I was not pregnant.  She turned around and with a frownie face the words came out of her mouth"you know what? you ARE pregnant"  almost with a I am sorry tone of voice.  I will never forget Hope that was the nurse's name.

That was unexpected, not planned and a total shock.  I just sat there and asked several times did you say pregnant?  is it really positive? A pregnancy was not in our plans at this point in our lives. We have had a whole range of emotions happy, scared, surprised, worried we never thought another pregnancy could happen. I myself have many fears because of my age and all the other fears that came along with pregnancy labor and delivery and raising another child.  

It felt so unreal like a dream specially after I had no symptoms at all.  

I had my first prenatal appointment at week 8 and then it was postponed a couple of times so I got to see my baby at 10 weeks 2 days of pregnancy. I got to see his/her heart thumping and he/she was moving inside That was 15 days ago so my little guy or gal has grown a bit now. I am currently 12 weeks 3 days.

This is the only picture I'd like to share with you today.  
Our not so little family is growing by two feet and one heart!

I am glad to be back blogging and hope you guys had been ok.

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